Ariane was hopeless and fed up: “I have looked everywhere, they simply don’t exist anymore. I doubt that investing more time into dating makes sense. I am better of single…” She complained that real men were extinct. According to her today’s men only want easy women who throw themselves at the guys.

She had several examples from her surrounding. She concluded ALL men were lazy, incapable and prefer to settle for a woman which they have to invest the least effort in.

Richard, who was also present at the discussion, became agitated and gave Ariane piece of his mind: “I don’t find myself at all in the species you have described! Maybe you should reconsider what kind of people you spend time with!”

Ariane was so angry with the whole world… Seventeen years ago, the father of her child left them and she struggled ever since. It was easier for her to believe that “All good men were already taken”. That way she could focus on what was wrong with “them” and justify her sad life. What was really happening was the effect of “cracked glasses” and the effect of attraction at our own “energy level”.


When people are freshly in love, they perceive everything beautiful and flawless. Even a rainy day seems magical. This is called the effect of pink glasses. It is a filter that makes people see only the good. Regardless of what anybody else thinks, for them, it is a reality. It has a direct effect on their happiness, ability to withstand stress and physical energy.

The effect of cracked glasses works similar. It is another type of filter. It shows what’s wrong with people around us. People who choose this filter will see situations that confirm what they already believe. At the same time they will be blind to situations proving the opposite.

No matter what we believe, it is true. Our reality becomes just that. The effect of this filter is doubt about future, difficulties to let go of past and overall negativity and irritability. It is natural people with this filter will complain and say bad things about others.

Ariane experienced some losses or injustice during their life. She was “entitled” to be devastated when the father of her child shamelessly left them. However, seventeen years later it does not help her to be still devastated and angry, it doesn’t bring anything good to her life.


How is it possible that a genuinely good, caring and selfless woman repeatedly attract bad guys? Guys who don’t appreciate her, take advantage or even behave abusively?  

It seems contradicting a GOOD person attracting a BAD person. It sounds that the whole law of attraction thing is bogus. Yeah, it looks black and white, until we add category “energy frequency” to the picture.

Suddenly we see that the good woman, has a low opinion of herself, she is constantly trying to prove herself to be good enough and puts herself always last. Her energy frequency is quite low. The guys, she dates, mirror her and also put her last. She can honestly say they are BAD. After trying this ten times, she can logically conclude there are no good guys left, because she hasn’t met any. The solution is to increase her own energy frequency and deal with barriers that have been keeping it low.

Ariane has due to her negative outlook a low energy frequency. She hangs out with friends in similar frequency and sees how these men  treat women badly. This confirms to her that real men don’t exist anymore. Do you see the vicious circle?

If you attract bad profiles, it says something about your current energy frequency, not about you being a good or a bad person. Energy frequency can be changed. Once you reach higher levels, you will automatically attract people who are also at higher levels. Then you will have a different experience on your dates.  


During our life we encounter many challenges and things aren’t always fair. We fall sometimes because we are just humans. The longer we remain crashed in a low energy state, the longer we are going to wait for a new opportunity. The sooner we bounce back from a setback, the sooner we get rewarded by unexpected good things.

Sometimes people fall really deep in crash when too many things change in life at the same time and destabilise the safety structures. In that case, try to stabilise your life first. Focus on your health, reducing stress, creating supportive networks, having stable income and some positive fun activities. If needed, reach out to a professional such as a doctor, psychologist or a coach. Don’t overwhelm yourself by adding too many goals at this time.

Once you feel stabilised, healthy and positive, you are ready for the growth stage. There are many educational books or programs that can support reaching your goals. Anybody actively engaging in self development is automatically increasing their energy frequency.

When you continue on this journey you become a new version of yourself. Others will recognise you as high quality, energising, interesting  or simply fun to be around. Your choices of partners will increase and it is only a matter of time when you meet a “good one”. 🙂


Start today by simply rating your current health, stability and happiness on a scale from 1 to 10.

Then write a list of 5 energising activities and 5 energy drainers from your life. How much time do you spend on each one? How can you rearrange your time to do more energising things and less draining things? How will this impact your health, feeling of stability and overall happiness?

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