flower girlI was born in former Czechoslovakia during the communist times. My parents had to work hard to provide for the three children. God bless them.  I couldn’t always have the things I wanted, so I started to believe life was hard and I had to prove myself to deserve things.  

I studied hard and was the nerdy girl. I was more serious than playful. What a surprise that I didn’t get much interest from the boys. Finally when I was 18, I met a man who liked me. My expectations were quite low and so was my dating result. He was very lazy and got in an argument with all of my friends. Nevertheless I stayed with him for two years. I thought, anyway it wasn’t possible to meet somebody that would be perfect for me. Eventually my patience had enough and we split.

During the college, I worked one summer in America and there I fell in love with a man.  He was a better choice than my previous boyfriend so I never questioned his hot temper and harsh comments towards me. Eventually we got married. I hoped he would understand my wish to have a family. Instead he shut me up whenever I opened the topic. I felt very alone. Four years later we divorced.

In the next two relationships I was following the same wrong pattern, giving too much, being taken for granted, feeling unappreciated and eventually not wanting to continue. Only after it was over, I was getting marriage proposals and they wanted me desperately back.



One day I asked myself: “What am I doing wrong?  Why other women get so much and I don’t?Eventually I realized I was behaving like a “good girl” while other women were more selfish. I decided to focus on becoming a more balanced woman. I studied techniques for deep levels of change, read self-improvement books and participated in training events.  I told myself I deserved the best and started treating myself that way.

For months I was researching the “good girl” topic. After I completed my Master Practitioner Certification in Neuro Linguistic Programing in NLP University California, I was fascinated by the models of success behavior and started using it for my analysis. I started interviewing people. Soon I had so much material. There came the idea to write a book.

I noticed during this period, there was a sudden increase of men interested in dating me. The funniest story was with a man who left his restaurant meal unfinished and chased me on the street when I was practicing “confidence with a smile” exercise.

However, I still wasn’t ready to start a new relationship. Something was holding me back from dating. I couldn’t see a clear direction, until one day an NLP classmate shared her own analysis why things didn’t work before and why it works now.  That helped me moving forward.

Eventually I was ready and I felt confident. I decided, this time I would choose the man, instead of being chosen.  I believed that it was a unique chance for the men to meet me and it would be soon gone. I was very popular and men were literally fighting to impress me and to earn a chance to be with me.  Within one month I met my love.


smilesToday I am a women who is enjoying the care from my loving man, fun and laughing together. I ask for what I want and I get it.  I receive nice surprises, kisses, hugs and support on difficult days. For the first time I feel my man is really there for me. But that isn’t all. As I was learning to become a more balanced woman, I gained a lot of knowledge and experience. I can see a clear link between my beliefs and the results in life. I value myself regardless of whether there is a man in my life or not.  I have the answers for questions many women are still asking.

After dating worked well for me, I thought about documenting the process to help other women as well. I found it encouraging that with a clear structure, it becomes possible. I used NLP models to propose 4 steps to help you analyze your unique situation.

I share that with you in my articles and a book “MINDFUL DIVA DATING”. Request your free copy here: http://michaelaray.com/request-free-e-book/

I also share stories and exercises about the change process of becoming a more balanced woman in an upcoming book “TUNE IN YOUR MINDFUL DIVA”.

I am excited about what the future brings.