ABOUT

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BEGINNING AND STRUGGLES

flower girlI was born in former Czechoslovakia during the communist times. My parents had to work hard to provide for the three children. God bless them.  I couldn’t always have the things I wanted, so I started to believe life was hard and I had to prove myself to deserve things.  

I studied hard and was the nerdy girl. I was more serious than playful. What a surprise that I didn’t get much interest from the boys. Finally when I was 18, I met a man who liked me. My expectations were quite low and so was my dating result. He was very lazy and got in an argument with all of my friends. Nevertheless I stayed with him for two years. I thought, anyway it wasn’t possible to meet somebody that would be perfect for me. Eventually my patience had enough and we split.

During the college, I worked one summer in America and there I fell in love with a man.  He was a better choice than my previous boyfriend so I never questioned his hot temper and harsh comments towards me. Eventually we got married. I hoped he would understand my wish to have a family. Instead he shut me up whenever I opened the topic. I felt very alone. Four years later we divorced.

In the next two relationships I was following the same wrong pattern, giving too much, being taken for granted, feeling unappreciated and eventually not wanting to continue. Only after it was over, I was getting marriage proposals and they wanted me desperately back.

TRANSITION AND PROGRESS

IMG_2668

One day I asked myself: “What am I doing wrong?  Why other women get so much and I don’t?Eventually I realized I was behaving like a “good girl” while other women were more selfish. I decided to focus on becoming a more balanced woman. I studied techniques for deep levels of change, read self-improvement books and participated in training events.  I told myself I deserved the best and started treating myself that way.

For months I was researching the “good girl” topic. After I completed my Master Practitioner Certification in Neuro Linguistic Programing in NLP University California, I was fascinated by the models of success behavior and started using it for my analysis. I started interviewing people. Soon I had so much material. There came the idea to write a book.

I noticed during this period, there was a sudden increase of men interested in dating me. The funniest story was with a man who left his restaurant meal unfinished and chased me on the street when I was practicing “confidence with a smile” exercise.

However, I still wasn’t ready to start a new relationship. Something was holding me back from dating. I couldn’t see a clear direction, until one day an NLP classmate shared her own analysis why things didn’t work before and why it works now.  That helped me moving forward.

Eventually I was ready and I felt confident. I decided, this time I would choose the man, instead of being chosen.  I believed that it was a unique chance for the men to meet me and it would be soon gone. I was very popular and men were literally fighting to impress me and to earn a chance to be with me.  Within one month I met my love.

RESULTS AND EXPERTISE

smilesToday I am a women who is enjoying the care from my loving man, fun and laughing together. I ask for what I want and I get it.  I receive nice surprises, kisses, hugs and support on difficult days. For the first time I feel my man is really there for me. But that isn’t all. As I was learning to become a more balanced woman, I gained a lot of knowledge and experience. I can see a clear link between my beliefs and the results in life. I value myself regardless of whether there is a man in my life or not.  I have the answers for questions many women are still asking.

After dating worked well for me, I thought about documenting the process to help other women as well. I found it encouraging that with a clear structure, it becomes possible. I used NLP models to propose 4 steps to help you analyze your unique situation.

I share that with you in my articles and a book “MINDFUL DIVA DATING”. Request your free copy here: http://michaelaray.com/request-free-e-book/

I also share stories and exercises about the change process of becoming a more balanced woman in an upcoming book “TUNE IN YOUR MINDFUL DIVA”.

I am excited about what the future brings.