How I escaped a serial killer: Be safe and smart with dating


I didn’t know my profile looked ideal to be a victim of a serial killer, but he thought so! Steve was a security guard in a company where I worked. He had access to my employee profile: where it clearly stated: foreigner, divorced. Who can be a better target that a lonely, sad woman, with no family, friends or a boyfriend, living alone, with no support network and nobody to miss her if she was dead?

While he had a lot of information about me, I had no clue about his creepy history. The woman from the story, published in the local newspaper, could give you an idea about his character.

A prostitute ran outside naked from a policeman’s house.  She was running away as fast as she could and screamed for help. She was scared for her life when he became physically aggressive, forced her to get blindfolded, tied up and act as a slave to his sadistic ideas. Luckily he did not catch her and that saved her life. She filed a complaint and as a result he was fired from the Milwaukee police department. Since he didn’t manage to kill her, there wasn’t a real charge against him.”

Then he got a nice job as a security guard and started his hunt on me. He talked to me every morning, opened the doors for me and wondered whether I was up for a date.  He was persistently asking me a lot of questions about my private life. He was asking whether I had any relatives living in US, whether I had many friends and a boyfriend.

Now I understand, he was assessing whether anybody would look for me if I was dead.  He wasn’t my type and in fact I had a boyfriend. I declined his invitation with an excuse I was dating somebody else. Even then, he “reserved a right” to check on my status every so often. He was following me around the company campus and always tried to engage in some conversation.

I was getting nervous about his unwanted attention and eventually complained to my boss. She thought it was cute and innocent and that I should be flattered men are interested in me, even if they are not my type. She was joking with our secretary that Michaela is getting a lot of attention from one of the security guards. Our secretary is sometimes very direct and tough. At the first opportunity she scolded Steve and told him to make sure “his people” leave “her people” alone. She didn’t know it was himself who was pestering me.

This was embarrassing, and I wished she hadn’t said anything.  On the bright side he finally stopped chasing me.

A few months later I moved to Europe. Shortly after that my former boss called me to tell me the gruesome news: “Do you remember the security guard who wanted to date you? “ He was convicted of killing three women, cutting them in pieces and stuffing them in suitcases.” Whaaaat??? I was shocked to hear this and a cold chill went up my spine. I was lucky to be alive. The tough secretary saved my life!

Watch out for the following two types of dangerous situations:

  1. Physically dangerous men

door with handsThe serial killers often seek positions of power, and jobs that can provide it.  Such dangerous individuals seek lonely women, away from their support network and also mentally challenged women, who can’t judge the danger.

They propose to meet in remote locations, where nobody knows the woman or him.  That was the case of one of the victims, who chatted with him on internet and agreed to meet in a motel fifty miles away from her house. Physically dangerous men often strike on the first date, so never agree to meet in a remote location with somebody you don’t know.

Only meet in public places, where there are a lot of people. Don’t show him where you live, until you are sure, he is safe.  Do not maintain cyber discussions with anybody who hints abusive behavior, who makes inappropriate sexual comments or who proposes to meet you just for sex.

Additionally if you have any doubt, make comments such as you are meeting your friends right after the date and that you showed his picture to your friends.

  1. Romance scammers trying to get money from you

scamIn the recent decade there has been a huge increase of cyber-crime where the scammers use numerous traps to get money out of naive people.  While I knew about many of the quick schemes, where they ask you by email to send or receive some check or offer you a percentage of some huge fortune for your “help”, I wasn’t aware about the one targeted at older single women.  It has never been easier than today to do “target advertising” to a specific profile of women, for example using Facebook features.  While FBI and other national law enforcement agencies are aware of this, there is no international jurisdiction to prosecute the criminals, running their operations mostly from Nigeria and surrounding countries.

How do the scammers do it and how can they be so successful?

First they steal a profile of an attractive and successful man from Facebook.  They create a fake profile, using the pictures of the real person. Then they target women, over 30 years old, with a ”single” status, living in western countries, possibly originating from other countries in Eastern Europe.  They can collect such info from social media and from dating sites. Once they have their target group, their start sending unsolicited “friends request” or start a chat on a dating site.  They send several profiles to a single woman over a period of months, to see what her type is.

If she accepts the invitation, they start the hunt.

They introduce themselves as trustworthy professional, who is looking for that special woman to spend the life with.   The story is that he lost a wife due to an accident, he has one little child who needs a new mom, his parents are dead and he is currently in some remote location, due to his work, so he can’t meet you right away. This is all set up for later, when he asks for money due to some emergency, when you are the only person who can help him.

They combine automated messaging with a real time chat. Automated messaging with little poems and sweet nonsense is to show how much attention they give to the woman every day.

Real time chat is to find out what the woman wants and then become exactly that, so that she falls in love and stops being suspicious.  They use a series of brain washing techniques for several months to install a feeling of connection, love and vision of a great future.

Only you can save him!

Then months later, when they are sure the woman is hooked and in love, they create a fake emergency, where the man was in danger of his life and desperately wants to see you, but he needs your financial help to make it happen.  If they get the first amount of money, they will raise the game and ask for more.  Some women even take mortgage loans over their houses to provide it to their fake sweethearts.


From the above it is obvious you shouldn’t trust anybody who can’t meet you in person, who has a life story similar to the one above and who shows his feeling to you very soon without even meeting you. Be cautions with unsolicited friend’s requests when you have no friends in common and when the Facebook profile looks very new, with a small number of friends or only female friends. Be especially suspicious if he asks you for money.  Under no circumstances travel to a location he claims as his work destination in the third world countries. According to FBI advice, women would be most likely be raped, killed or enslaved to work in the illegal scamming operation.

 Luckily 99.9% of men are safe to meet

After all the catastrophes described, know that most men are perfectly safe and are looking either for a relationship or to have fun with you.  By being aware of the two most risky scenarios, you can already eliminate the really dangerous situations. The worst that can happen to you is having your heart broken, which is acceptable risk in exchange for the chance to live the life of your dreams. 🙂 And even with that, I can help.    You can separate the players from the good guys, find out more in the below article.

How to meet a great man online on Tinder


Today I am one of them, living with my fiance, laughing together, travelling the world and sharing our interest in dancing. What ever your unique situation is, I can help you figure things out  with four steps to attract Mr. Right, that I share in my free e-book. Request a copy by clicking below:

All the best and bright outlook for your future!




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