You are accomplished, professional in your career, self-sufficient and strong. You have your own income to support yourself, you are independent, creative, adventurous, sociable and witty. You are intelligent and like intellectual conversations. You are a nice person, helpful to others and caring for your loved ones. You value honesty and good relationships.
You would be an ideal wife if only men could appreciate your qualities! However, you have been single for a while or in a dead end relationship.
You are probably in one of the four situations described below:
- Avoiding the dating market completely but secretly dreaming of a nice relationship. Something is holding you back from going for it. You justify to yourself why it would not work anyway, so no point of trying.
- Waiting for the right man to simply “happen” in your life. You are open to meet new men, but not actively looking. You are waiting for natural opportunities and rely on good luck to be discovered by somebody great. You get attracted to men who have been around you for a while. However they are either “unavailable” or not interested.
- In a dead end relationship that doesn’t satisfy your needs and wishes. This might include dating unavailable men, men who are not willing to commit, staying together just because of sex, or because you don’t want to feel completely alone. Another scenario is that you are the one who can’t fully commit, because something is missing for you, even though he is a good man and really loves you. Or you have recently ended a relationship but are still returning to it in your mind and it feels things are unsettled.
- Trying really hard, meeting many men and being totally fed up with the results. You are starting to think single life is better than the headache, stress and frustration of dating.
You want a relationship with a man who can appreciate who you are
You want to have quality men interested in you. You want dating to be fun. You want to have a simple tool how to find the right man, let the things progress naturally and finally settle with a man who will appreciate you in the same way like you appreciate him.
You are afraid of making a mistake again
You are afraid to give dating another try because your emotions and self-confidence already suffered from the previous experience.
You are afraid to have another relationship, because you don’t trust you can do it better than the previous attempt. You are afraid of the risk of being hurt, cheated, scammed, disrespected, taken for granted or unappreciated again.
You are fed up with wasting your time, effort and energy
You are fed up with doing everything alone and waiting for the great guy to finally show up. You are fed up with spending money on dating sites. You are fed up with wasting time on boring chats and dates. You are fed up with meeting man who have no intention of commitment. You are fed up with your “boyfriend” saying now isn’t a good time yet for the next step in your relationship. You are sick of people giving you uninvited advices. Lastly you don’t want to become somebody who you are not in order to “fit what shallow men are looking for”.
You are not alone
Most women dream to meet, love and marry a prince charming. Many of us start romantic relationships full of expectation and hope to be finally happy. Then we are highly disappointed when confronted with the reality. The majority of men out there aren’t anything like we wished for.
Women think: A good woman will be loved as much as she loves him.
Men say: Most men don’t love a woman, they take advantage of what she does for them.
Women think: Men would be lucky to have a woman “like me”.
Men say: You are painfully typical. You hold the same conversations and try the same tricks as every other woman.
Women think: I have bad luck, most men I met are not looking for commitment.
Men say: When a man tells you he’s not looking for anything serious, he means “with you!” When a man meets a woman who “gets him” on multiple levels, even the biggest womanizer is ready to settle down.
These comments are pretty harsh!
While I don’t like the macho attitude, I read between the lines that men are also secretly wishing for that one special woman who will make them happy. They are equally struggling to find her. Both men and women use a lot of tactics, strategies and even tricks in hope to meet a great partner.
There are so many conflicting advice: “Play hard to get” vs. “Push hard to get him”.
“Be sexy” vs. “Make yourself look innocent”. “Show him you are interested” vs. “Be an ice queen”. It is so confusing. How am I supposed to know what actually works for me? No wonder many women feel exhausted and discouraged from dating.
All the activities like flirting, creating dating profiles, chatting with potential dates, going to places for singles, having a date, getting dressed up, trying to lose weight, learning about sex techniques, reading books about opposite gender, belong to a group, called “Outer game”.
Having good “tools” for the outer game is important. However, it doesn’t work by itself.
There is another group of activities, usually completely overlook by popular dating advice.
Group called “Inner game”. Inner game has to do with your mental and emotional approach to what you are doing. This includes your attitude, beliefs in yourself, dealing with mistakes and so on. The concept of Inner game was developed, as a way to achieve excellence in peak sport performers. We have to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally to perform well, whether it is for a sport, a job or for dating.
When your Outer game and Inner Game are working together, actions flow with a type of effortless excellence, called “playing in the zone”.
When you are “playing in the zone”, you feel confident , you have no fear of failure, you are focused on your goal, you are relaxed and ready to take action, you are having fun and the result comes without effort and without thinking about it too much.
It is precisely this case when you see some “exceptionally lucky” women, attracting great guys, fast and effortlessly.
The opposite of this state is anxiety, lack of confidence, low energy, fear, stress, mental paralysis which brings an under average result, in any area, including dating.
The purpose of my upcoming book is to guide you through simple steps to bring you to a place called “your zone”, where successful dating becomes possible.
Five steps to attract Mr. Right
First step is to find out where you are standing today, and how did you get there. The second step is to decide how would like your dating future to look like. This can differ for each woman and range from casual part time relationship to a marriage with children. Once we have the current state and desired future state, we can draw a line between them as a path. In the third step we will look at the obstacles that have been standing in your way. In the fourth step we will explore resources that will help you get in “your zone” and ultimately to your goal. Finally, in the fifth step, we will discuss the practical actions necessary to enter the dating market in a full grace of your uniqueness. This includes things like coming across the way you want in your dating profile, having tools for filtering only the interesting men etc. The rest will be your story of success.
I asked a group of women in early summer for their feedback for the first manuscript of the book and based on that prepared an improved version. I really enjoy debating the topic with women via emails or in person and seeing how their story develops from completely unsatisfactory to “exciting with positive outlook”. Reading comments from my readers like the below, gives me satisfaction and motivates me to continue.
“It really helped me to do the exercises about what I want in life, as your book suggested. My new boyfriend is unbelievably amazing. I have never met anybody like this and did not even believe it was possible. I don’t know where this will lead but I have a great feeling from this.”
Another reader, a 30 year old woman, who never had a boyfriend in her life, shared with me with excitement she was able to make a mental switch and let go of her past. It only took one week after that, to meet her sweetheart. It makes me happy that my work can help improve women’s lives. I included her full story in the new version of the e-book with her permission.
I am now looking for a second group of women to read and experience the techniques. To become a test reader and receive a free e-book, you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org, with subject “BOOK” or message me through Facebook. You will receive a manuscript for my upcoming book MINDFUL DIVA DATING: Five steps to get in “your zone” and attract Mr. Right.
I am offering a FREE COPY for the first 15 readers who are willing to give a short feedback.