Four steps to meet Mr. Right

dream man

“What is preventing me from meeting someone I would like?”

Have you ever asked this question?

I did, when I was in my early thirties, after a divorce and being single for several years.

I struggled with the dating topic. I wished for a nice relationship but I wasn’t really ready. I pushed men away and kept myself busy with the unavailable ones. I waited for somebody great to find me and he wasn’t showing up. I didn’t see I was sabotaging my chances, until one day.

A friend of mine, in her late forties, shared her analysis why things didn’t work before and why it works for her now. She uses models of success behavior, which we studied together at NLP University in California. That helped me moving forward. I did my own analyses and soon met the love of my life. Two years later, my friend is happily married and I am enjoying time with my fiancé.

Where would you like to be in two years from now?

If you are single, fed up with waiting and curious what is possible, then you are at the right address. After dating finally worked well for me, I decided to document the steps to help with the analysis of your unique situation.  In fact, all you need are just four simple steps. I give a highlight of the steps below, more can be found in my free e-book.

http://michaelaray.com/request-free-e-book/

Ask yourself the below questions. If any of the answers are NO, look into it closer before you go to the next point.  You need to reach YES answer in all four steps in order to clear the obstacles out of the way.

STEP 1 – Do you want to be in a relationship?

Be hodating beachnest in your answers. If you say NO to this question, do you know what your reasons are?  What benefit does it bring you to avoid dating? Can you have the same benefit in another way if you were in a relationship?

Example: You enjoy the freedom and independence of your single life and at the same time you want to share special moments with your man.  In that case a “part time” exclusive relationship might be a solution. Not every relationship needs to be in a form of marriage and raising children together. What kind of relationship would be ideal for you?

 STEP 2 – Are you ready to start a new part of your life and leave the excuses behind?

As much as I wanted to have a partner in my life, something was holding me back. I was stuck in the middle of memories, worries and day dreaming of my pretty imaginary life. Staying in touch with physically unavailable men made my imaginary life look like it could be real. It can be very addicting to live your virtual dream and not wanting to let it go. The unavailable men are almost flawless, in your mind you make them look like the way you want.

What excuses do you tell yourself why now is not the right time yet to get out there and give it a try?  

You can pick from the list or state your own reason:

There is still a change the ex-boyfriend or ex-husband will come back, you don’t want to risk being hurt again, and you don’t need anybody in your life, it is too early after you got disappointed, it has been too long since you went on a date, you are still upset with the previous man and don’t trust anybody.

What other “more important” aspect of your life are you tending to, that need to be resolved before you will be ready for dating?

You can pick from the list or state your own reason:

You have small children that need to grow up, you have health problems that first need to go away, you have financial problems and can’t afford to go out, you are focused on your career until you get promoted, you have to take care of your sick parents, you are building your company and wait until it takes off.

In case you are meeting men, it is possible that you are picking certain kind that will sabotage your chance for something real?

Do you spend time with men who are physically, emotionally or practically unavailable?

You can pick from the list or state your own reason:

Do you spend time with married men, men who are in another relationship, single man who only want to play and are not looking for a relationship, men living in other countries with no intention to move, do you spend a lot of time in online chatting without actually meeting each other?

STEP 3 – Do you know what are you looking for? Who is the man of your dreams?

dream manHave you been meeting always the wrong guys, the ones who are not your type and the ones who break your heart or take advantage of you?  You probably know exactly what you don’t want, but they keep showing up anyway. What if I asked you, what is it that you do want?  In case   you haven’t thought of it, the below might help you to get your mind organized.

  1. Describe how your ideal relationship looks like, from three perspectives.

Compatibility      (Includes opinion on family, religion, finances, location, career, interests)

Attraction & passion  (Includes interacting with each other in private and in public, showing affection)

Love & Compassion  (Includes respect, mutual support, problem resolutions)

  1. Describe your ideal partner from the same three perspectives.
  1. Describe what kind of a person you have to be to attract and maintain the person you are looking for. Use the same three categories.

Now when you have your list ready, read it regularly to get it in your mind. Start becoming that person, you wrote about yourself.

Begin with creating opportunities to meet single and available man and start putting your new vision to a test. Tips how to create such opportunities are described in my e-book.

http://michaelaray.com/request-free-e-book/

As you meet the men, you might notice they fulfill everything on your list EXCEPT, that is not how you meant it.  Don’t get discouraged by that. Be prepared to fine tune your list.

Fine – tuning your wish list by trial and error

For example you wish for a handsome man that will treat you like a lady.  You meet an attractive pilot and spend a fantastic weekend together. Then he flies away and never calls again. Check whether you mentioned the word RELATIONSHIP on your list. If not, add it and start over.

Another example is you wish for an intelligent funny man that you can talk for hours with.  You meet a smart and outgoing manager and he turns out to be married. Check whether you put on your list SINGLE and AVAILABLE!!!

And so on, you get the point that the universe is blind, it takes literally what you write and does not consider how you meant it.  J

As you keep meeting the men and fine-tuning your list, be aware of what are your MUST HAVE things and which ones are NICE TO HAVE.  Don’t miss out on a great deal just because it is not 100% like your list.

 STEP 4 – Is it possible for YOU to find somebody you like?

laughingMaybe you would be surprised, but many women can get stuck on this question. If the answer is not a clear YES, consider what beliefs are you holding that are preventing you from meeting somebody.

What reason are you telling yourself justifying why it is not possible?

For example:

 I am too old and all men only want to date young women

 I am too confident and adventurous, men are scared of women like me

 I am too shy, men never notice me

 All good men are taken

 I will never meet somebody as good as my ex, who left me

While none of these statements are true, they can become our truth if we believe them. Start opening the doubt about the statement. For example:

  • “I am too old and all men only want to date young women”

Is it possible that a 49 year old woman can meet a man of her age and start a relationship? YES it is possible.  I share such story of success in my book.

  • “All good men are taken”

Good men are still available, a new “supply” comes all the time.  A good man could have been “note ready” to date till now and now he is ready. Or he could have been traveling around the world and now wants to settle down and have a family.

  • “I have done so much in my life while all the men are so boring”

That’s great news you are an interesting woman. That makes you a perfect candidate for another interesting person who can relate to you and appreciate who you are.

  • “I am too (fat, skinny, tall, short, laud, shy, ugly, …) for men to like me”

Have you ever seen a (fat, skinny, tall, short, laud, shy, ugly …) woman with a partner?  Thousand times. So that is not a reason why this should prevent you from success.

An easy way to start changing such beliefs, it to write down an opposite statement, that resonates with you and start repeating it regularly until it gets into your mind. For example: “I deserve to have a loving partner, we enjoy the life together and support each other.”

Write your own statement that you like. You will soon notice a change.

Were you able to answer YES to all four questions?  Other women who followed the four steps are already enjoying the results.

I am sharing success stories and more details about the four steps in my free e-book. You can find there also useful tips how to write an eye catching dating profile, how to avoid common complains about online dating and how to be the shining woman that men want to date.

 

To request a free e-book, you can contact me at info@michaelaray.com, with subject “BOOK” or message me through Facebook. You will receive a manuscript for my upcoming book MINDFUL DIVA DATING: Four steps to attract Mr. Right.  

I am offering a FREE COPY for the first 100 readers who are willing to give a short feedback.

Thank you for your interest and wishing you bright days in your dating life!

Michaela

 

 

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