Is he dating a Good Girl or a Selfish Princess?

thinking-woman

How could have he done it to me, haven’t I done enough for him and he has chosen the one who only thinks about herself!

 

When a man is deciding between two women, it could also end up like this.

Andrea opened her phone and saw the worst message she could have imagined. He left her. Just like that. After everything she has done for him. All the years of caring for his needs, cleaning the house, cooking and making all the sacrifices for him. She supported the household from her paycheck while he was building his company. How could have he done this to her? She had made him the most important person, while he was getting excited about some other woman. Life is just not fair. She came home late, after working hard all day and now this. Sitting alone, looking at her phone in tears. He didn’t even care enough to tell her in person. She wondered who is this other woman and what does she have that Andrea doesn’t have?

Lindsey was sitting in a café, admiring her new bracelet Paul just gave her. She was laughing and playfully moved her hair to side. She pulled her short dress a down as she adjusted herself in her chair. She made it very clear to him, she was not going to be the second woman. Paul was a good catch, a successful businessman with a lot of money and Lindsey had an eye on him for a while. She was looking for her opportunity to strike and that day came a few weeks ago. She got his interest then and today she closed the deal. She got rid of the competition. Now she had him for herself. In her mind she was preparing a list of things he will provide for her, starting with a new apartment, luxurious vacation and a car. He will do it for her, after all she knows how to handle men. She wasn’t that much interested in his personality or looks, but who cares, as long as he will provide what she wants.

Are you a Good Girl or a Selfish Princess?

Have you ever though why some women get what they want, while others don‘t?
Do you know a woman who takes care of everybody else, makes sacrifices, but nobody appreciates her? Why is she not getting back what she thinks she deserves? What can she do about it?

 

Why are Andrea and Linsey so different?

Imagine you draw a line. On one end of the spectrum are Good girls. On another side are Selfish Princesses.

Good Girls have built a strong left side of the heart, where the love for others is stored. The right side, where self-love is stored has been neglected and is very weak. They are always ready to help everybody around them, but doing something nice for themselves or asking for help is difficult.

They are nice, caring, supportive, hardworking, loving, selfless and compassionate but don’t seem to be able to get what they want and deserve. Their partners don’t give back as much as the women think would be fair. Some men are annoyed by the overwhelming care. Others get bored and look elsewhere for a new excitement. Some even behave abusively.
This situation is often summed up by a question: Why do the good girls so often end up with the bad guys?

On the other side of the spectrum, Selfish Princesses have built a strong right side of the heart with self-love but they are lacking the left side. Because of that they are not emphatic with other people and not interested in their problems. The purpose of other people is just to satisfy princess’s needs.

They can easily get the men to do anything they want. They use charm, flirting, flattering and later manipulations and threats to get exactly what they want. The men are initially excited and would bring the blue sky just to be with these women. Many times the women are quite cold and calculative and show minimum compassion. They are very self-centered and don’t care about anybody else but their own well-being. Eventually the men are fed up with the situation but continue giving out of fear of anger or out of the obligation.
This situation is often summed up by a question: Why do the nice guys so often end up with the bad women?

Where did the different behavior come from?

Everything has started in the childhood

Good girls were born to the world full of expectations, rules, responsibilities and hard work. Their parents were strict, conservative, required discipline and respect. Often the family had to deal with hard economic conditions. Good girls had to carry a heavy load right from the start.

Cute little girl helping her mother in the backyard with heavy wheelbarrow

On the other side, in the mind of a princess, the world revolves only around her. She was brought up by her parents as somebody special. She was spoiled and considered that as a normal standard. Often she was the only child, the youngest child or daddy’s “little girl”. He could not say no to her angel face and begging eyes. Soon she learned this was a powerful skill.

Full length portrait of a brat little ballerina crossing her arms, studio image

Our environment, country, culture, family, religion, education and friends have formed us to be certain way. We have developed values, beliefs and identity that rule and influence out lives and behavior from an unconscious level.

There is no one set of right values or absolute truth. Except for mine of course. Lol, I am just kidding. What each group considers as truth is completely different because of their different upbringing.

If we draw a line, most people are somewhere between the two extremes but have a tendency to gravitate to one of them. It is useful to understand where on the line are you today, where would you like to be and if you are moving a certain direction. What if I told you there was a way to help define the big grey zone between the black and white edges?

I have spent one year analyzing and documenting this topic. The purpose is to bring awareness to the unconscious beliefs and their consequence in our lives. I compared them by contrast using both extremes.

It uncovers the mystery of why different women are reaching different results in their relationship, career and other aspects of life.

 

If this topic interest you, more details, life stories and exercises for desirable changes can be found in the book that I am currently writing.

Coming soon, stay tuned in 🙂

Michaela Ray

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